To marry or not to marry?

The subject of marriage keeps on coming up, no matter how hard I try to avoid it. And although this time its not directly related to me, the connection is nonetheless very great. Its only human nature that I too want to be loved by that special person, have a companion in my life, someone who has a place that no other has. There are times in my life when I feel that loneliness and feel the need for companionship, but the reality of life is far different from the fairytale of ‘love’.

We live in a world where love is portrayed as being ‘perfect’. Movies and books make it seem this way. When we picture marriage we picture it as being smooth sailing, no rough seas or bad weather. Reality is something completely different to it. Its only after the honeymoon and initial stages of marriage that we realise the responsibility that comes with it.

Wherever I look, whichever young married couples I interact with and talk to there is one commonality. And that is that I should not get married now, wait till I’m much older, and from others that I should not get married at all! I guess that their frustrations and the situations that they are presently in make them feel so strongly about advising other unmarried girls such as myself to avoid it as far as possible.

I obviously want to get married at some point in my life, but when I look at all these people and only receive negative feedback about marriage, then I wonder if its all worth it. Islam teaches us that marriage completes half of your faith. Perhaps its because of all the sacrifices that you make, the courage that you need to go into marriage and the commitment and effort that you have to make to keep your marriage strong, not to mention all the responsibilities that you have to carry out.

There is a minority of people whom I know that give me a positive outlook of marriage and who tell me that they are happy. There is no doubt that in every marriage there are minor problems, but these have to be settled in an amicable manner. I dont know how I will approach problems in my marriage, but I hope that I can tackle it maturely and work hard to keep my marriage happy and successful.

I have set my goals and plan to concentrate on my studies first. I will try my very best to excel in my studies and complete my degree first.  After that I will decide about getting married. My Creator is the best of planners and if I happen to deviate from my plans and get married before the time that I planned, then I will accept it. The thought of marriage does scare me considerably, but I hope that when I reach that point in my life, things work out for me. A positive attitude will have to be created and I should prepare myself mentally for the responsibility that comes with it. If my expectations are high, then I will be disappointed (like with other aspects in life). When it happens I hope that I will find the good,happy and positive parts to it.