A walk to remember…

Life is not without its moments of darkness, when it seems the sun will never shine again, when life seems empty and you are lost, in search of the unknown, cloaked in malaise. But with faith, its all healed. The pieces fall into place, locked with each other, the integrated bits all make sense. The broken pieces, once far apart come together and form a masterpiece, the completion of a bigger picture.

For the past few weeks I have learnt to curb my ever-so-often urge to live online, in a different world, one which I slowly want to move away from. I’m now more reticent about sharing every personal detail of my life with this cyber world. I now record my innermost thoughts in my red faux leather bound journal, spending nights writing on real paper, with an actual pen, making errors along the way with no backspace key…it feels great, the authenticity returning to my life, it feels real and oh so beautiful. I missed that feeling. I have a profound love for blank journals, oceans of emptiness waiting to be filled with the moments, memories, tears and happiness, the emotions of my life.

The words flow freely...

Years of writing in a journal was replaced by my keyboard and everything was posted for the world to share. I’ve made the choice to move away, in search of a better quality of life. I’m trying hard to find a balance. I can never leave this cyber world totally, for there are many advantages to it. However, after introspection I know its best for me to draw the line. I’m the only one to blame for allowing this “other” world to have flooded my life, until I felt myself drowning in it. Fortunately, I was saved before it was too late. I now breathe with ease.

 I  sit on higher land, a safer place and watch the ocean from a distance. The birds swooping high above, wispy clouds painted across the sky. The ocean breeze hugs me, as tendrils of my hair dance graciously upon the touch of the balmy breeze. I sit in solitude, in a world that belongs to me. The waves crash slowly in the distance, the azure waters a spectacle to my eyes. The sun moves slowly, the sky painted the colours of love and serenity. My heart skips a beat, as I think of Him. The beauteous sight, I wish I could hold on to forever. I have reached a state of an inner peace. I’m happy being right here…

 I lost myself for a while, but my storm has dissipated. I am tired of looking back. My life changed significantly today, I have found what it is I was looking for. No doubt, my prayers have been answered. As I left in the darkness, turned back and waved, saying goodbye to someone I so dearly love, the answers came to me. I have found my place, where I belong. The conversations I had today, the realisations, a new hope was born. All I need are those special people in my life, a never-ending love, my faith and my will to look forward. I have fallen in love with life, and what makes it greater is having Him on my side, a hope that this will only grow stronger with time. Moving forward a step at a time, never give up even during the darkest of days. The light has entered my life once again.

Loving faithfully

loving god

Its a comforting cold.

The biting wind welcomed graciously.

I sit upon my grassy hill, 

My thoughts floating freely. 

I think of Him, my everything.

They grey mass gives way

And Im cloaked in His warmth.

In everything I do,

Everything I see and feel.

He is there.

My love for Him so great.

The feelings so hard to describe.

There will never be words sufficient

To express these emotions.

A love so clandestine,

Known only to my heart.

His power unsurpassed,

His greatness so vast.

I ponder on life.

And then I see,

In the clouds,

The trees,

Mountains,

Oceans,

Sunsets…

Its beyond me.

I feel His presence everywhere.

I wake up for Him.

I live my days,

With Him on my mind,

In my heart.

When worries enter,

When days are gloomy,

My heart unsettled.

Me weakness is alive.

How can I forget?

I have Him, my greatest comfort,

My life.

In patience I wait,

For the day we meet.

My hopes high, praying for the best.

For this life,

Is but temporary chapters.

A fraction of my time.

I strive for perfecting my life.

Doing the best that I can,

In His path.

For today, and my life that follows,

There is another world I await.

For now, and always,

It should be Him

It will be Him.

My greatest love.

14:31pm

31-10-2009