Happiness is all that matters

Its uncharacteristic for me to hate, but sometimes I am engaged in a fleeting moment of the emotion, catalysed by thoughts of a painful moment in my life. And then the  time comes when I realize that I’m not such a person, to hold so much ill-feelings towards a person that I actually hate them. I’m just waiting for myself to be completely free of that attachment. Things happened for a reason. “Every person that comes into our lives come for a reason, some come to learn and others come to teach”. I have experienced both, and a colossal change occurred in my life post-departure. 

 In the weeks following the conclusion of what was, I thought I would never get through this. The vacuum that existed in my life seemed bottomless and days seemed gloomy, despite the sunshine. But now, I do believe that our lives have gone on, just as normal. I am content and look forward to what lies ahead. Life sometimes comes to a pause, its up to us to resume the journey. We heading in different directions, and I no longer will question what could have been. All that matters is that we happy.

 I have formulated goals for my future, and will strive hard to work towards achieving it. Its been said that one of the best gifts to a person, is dua for them without them knowing. And that’s what I give of myself, dua and best wishes. And forgiveness of course…sometimes we don’t realize our mistakes and never will, until someone points it out to us. However, its best that I leave things as they are. Hold no grudges, and walk on in life. 


Falling in love…

I fell in love today, in love with life and all the opportunities that awaits me. Im suspended in dreamy clouds of happiness. I forgot what it was like to be out with such great, wonderful people, surrounded by the beauty of Allah. His handiwork and miracles visible in everything that you look at. It was one of those life-changing days. A day when life is turned up a few notches. New relationships are carved, old relationships turned stronger and love grows deeper with every step. Today I looked forward, not back, not at the past. There are some things which will always be there no matter how hard I try to let it go, but with time I’m praying it will dissipate, become a part of what once was and reside in the realm of a time gone by. Each day makes you stronger, each sunrise a dream waiting to be realized. I’m no longer holding back or holding on. Life awaits me…

The one that made me smile

He rang my doorbell, and greeted me pleasantly. In the coolness of the night, he strode towards me, singing into the darkness. The parcel was delivered and he turned his back towards me. His large frame slowly becoming smaller as he walked off into the distance. He exuded a peace, a happiness. He was content with life and with himself. It was his smile that made my night…his personality, a breath of fresh air into my life. Its the small things that count in life, the people like him. The ones that unknowingly bring a glow to your heart and a smile to your face.

Ten months on…

I’m at the point in my life where I realize that life is better off the way it is. People enter and leave our lives for a reason, we learn, we grow, we change. Theres so much I look back upon, wondering why. I will never know the answers, and maybe I’m not supposed to delve so deep into it. You trust, you love, you allow yourself to let go, open up to new opportunities in life. You hope, you dream. And sometimes you think that your dreams have come true. You believe that you find perfection, but fail to realize the obvious. I’ve learnt that Mr.Perfect is not always Mr.Right. 

I’ve realized that once you hurt someone, it will take years to trust again. Love can suddenly become hate. The damage that you do is irreversible. When the heart has been pierced, then life changes, in ways you cannot explain. A new map is drawn, a new path is followed…as far away from the cause as possible. You become harder on the outside, thinking that no one and nothing can affect you. You become stronger, less gullable and re-enforce the boundaries surrounding you, making it more difficult to get access to you. You learn to live life for yourself.

The events that have taken place in my life have taught me who are the important individuals in my life, the ones who care and who will stand by my side. If people truly love you they will do everything in their power to make sure that your happiness is a priority. They will not create lies involving you, they will not defame you. They will be the person you believed that they were. They will not run towards something that suddenly seems better, giving them more status in life, someone who appears more beautiful, or wealthier.  

Promises mean nothing no more. Feelings can change in moments. Life can change in the blink of an eye. I’m the only one that can make my life meaningful, looking past everything. Looking towards the future, and never losing faith. I’ve learnt to stop being so foolish and to stop trusting so easily. The people you cross paths with in this journey, change you and eventually you become the way you are because of the various chapters that occur in your life. Life is uncertain, love is uncertain. The only thing which is certain is my inevitable, eternal, afterlife. I live for that, and for the people in my life who make living worthwhile.