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Thoughts about my pending future continue to tug at me, a constant realization there are decisions which have to be made soon. Allah willing, I will complete my degree by the end of the year. I have been inspired by someone to take the path of becoming a volunteer worker. I don’t know how this will materialize, but its something which I believe would be of benefit to humanity, pleasing to the Creator and something from which I will derive great self-satisfaction.
I did a bit of research via Unisa to find out what I can study that would aid me in choosing this path. One particular course appeals to me greatly. Its called ‘Community Capacity Building’ and can be completed in a year. This is the link for the full information regarding the certificate that can be obtained: http://www.unisa.ac.za/Default.asp?Cmd=ViewContent&ContentID=3292
I went to ask my father for advice and asked what he thought of my decision. My parents always provide me with invaluable advice and this time was no different. I was told that it would be better to establish myself first and do something from which I will receive an income. There is logic behind this, as we need an income to survive. Although it is not imperative that I have to find employment, its something that I want to do. In a way it will teach me how to be more independent, as well as provide me with experience of being in the working world. I will not give up on my idea of doing volunteer work. I know that there are many other avenues, in which I can be of assistance. Even though its not something that I will be able to be involved with constantly, I will make an effort to dedicate a certain portion of my life towards it, Inshallah.
For now, I need to concentrate on doing well in my studies. I also want to try and develop my writing skills and need to work on two articles which are due soon. I feel much more at ease, after discussing this with my father as well as writing about it☺
Just a quick thought:
It is easy to say that we should not let it bother us when people say hurtful things. The truth however, is that the way people treat us has a major impact on the way we feel. Unless someone is very strong when it comes to blocking out people’s comments, ‘unkind words’ are something that affects us all.

The corybantic writer

My fingers move frantically across the keyboard. A myriad of thoughts goes through my mind. Each word shaping something greater. My thoughts get deeper, more intense. Sleep engulfs me, but I overcome it. Why is it that I am here?WRITE, WRITE, WRITE! The compulsion to express myself .To discover the truth and the purpose of this life… 

Weaknesses

There are somethings which although we don’t like, we have no control over it. Heres just two of my weaknesses, the second one taking the spotlight in this entry:
1. I don’t know how to say ‘NO’.
2. I constantly compare myself to everyone.
I’m sure that I got many other weaknesses, just not any that are of significance at the moment. For the record this is ‘weaknesses’ and not ‘faults’☺
Having the tendency to compare myself to everyone is something I always knew I had, but something happened tonight which made me realize that it has a major impact on my life and the way I feel. I often wonder why I feel so inferior in comparison to everyone around me. Its something which I really need to work on. We are all different and therefore have different qualities, skills and talents. Even in our looks, Allah has created us with diverse features. Yet some people (yep, that’s me) fail to realize this very simple phenomenon. The world would be shaded in palettes of grey, lacking in colour and diversity if there existed no ‘differences’ between us. I have reached a sad realization…I give advice to everyone about being confident, yet I fail to live up to this. It’s not that I don’t believe in myself and don’t have the confidence to progress in life. But there are times when I place too much emphasis on worrying about the world and what they think of me. Am I good enough and will I ever be good enough? Its not something that I can just snap out of, rather it should be a deliberate attempt to forget about everyone’s opinion of me and focus on myself. Accepting that I am who I am…I don’t pretend to be something or someone I am not. If my honesty is not enough and people cannot accept me for who I am, then for the benefit of both parties, I will not foster such relationships, but rather put an end to it. I cannot reside in places where I am not appreciated for the ‘true me’…Life is about honesty and sincerity, in every facet of our life and very importantly in every relationship.
‘If you can’t accept yourself, then certainly no one else will’- Sasha Azevedo

17.03.08

Its the 17.03.08 at 11:18 pm. We have used up our bandwith (yet again), so I’m typing this as a Word document. Just came out of the shower a short while ago. Finishing off a section of today’s work…I just love these late night showers. The best feeling ever! Especially tonight since it’s so cold. I’m fortunate in so many ways and it’s all these small blessings in my life that make me realise that I have so much to be grateful for. It has been said that we should count our blessings and although it may sound like such a cliche, we really should make every attempt to do this. There are millions of people in the world who don’t have even half the things that we have. The irony of life is that it is us, the ones who have so much that complain about the most trivial matters. Give thanks to your Creator for everything, no matter how insignificant it may seem…

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Perfect weather

Just taking out five minutes from my study time to write this. Its been raining non-stop since the early hours of Friday morning. Papa went fishing at about 10:30pm on Friday night and was back at 5:00am. I wouldnt have been aware of the time that it started raining if he didnt tell me. Anyway, last night the weather depressed me to a certain extent. But after getting into my bed, all that changed. Thanks to my Creator for providing me with such comforts.

I only woke up at 10am, although I would have loved to stay in bed longer. Most people say that I have got such a gooood life. Apart from carrying out my responsibilities, I would have to agree. Especially the part of having no limitations on how late I go to bed. The same can’t be said for getting up in the morning though:) I’m going to make the best of this last year of mine. Who knows where I will be next year or what I’ll be doing? Once I start working and whenever I decide to get married, then its GOODBYE to this ‘lekker’ life of mine!

Right now, its the perfect weather for studying. In my pjs and fleecy gown of course:)

I have quite a bit of studying to complete before I leave for Sun City, which will be on the 7 April, Inshallah. I think I need to cut back on my time spent on the net till then. And just one assignment left, which I need to submit by Wednesday at the latest…

Signing off till another time…Tasu

Maa

The lyrics of this song are indeed very emotional and my favourite song from the movie (Taare Zameen Par). Although it may not seem that powerful in isolation, when listening to it along with the visuals in the movie, the essence of it is very touching.

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Taare Zameen Par- Every child is special

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Award winning movie and director for the year 2007, this movie is truly remarkable in every sense. Ten year old Darsheel Safaray was nominated for best actor in both the critics and popular category, alongside major stars like Sharukh Khan. Darsheel has made history in more than one way. He was given the award for best actor in the critic’s category at the very tender age of ten. More outstanding is that this was his debut performance. When watching the awards, I was a bit skeptical when they announced that he was the recipient of the award. But after watching the movie, I feel that he truly deserved it.

A very thought provoking and touching movie in many ways. I’m not a person that usually expresses my emotions in tears, but I was left teary eyed at various parts of the movie (I was successful in using the blanket as my cover so that no one would catch me on the verge of crying. Good thing I made the choice of taking the single seat for tonight).

Ihsaan is a nine year old boy suffering from dyslexia. None of his teachers or parents are aware of his condition and mistake his ‘misbehaviour’ and lack of progress in school to be due to laziness and a very laid back attitude towards his school work and life in general. After endless complaints from the school, his father decides to send him to a boarding school, thinking this to be the solution to Ihsaan’s lack of discipline.

Ihsaan is clearly distressed and does not want to leave home. His mother’s love for him is clearly visible, despite his unacceptable behaviour. She has no choice about him going to boarding school once her husband has decided that he will have to go. Unwillingly and with a heavy heart, he is left at the boarding school to begin a new life.

The vicious cycle starts once again and he is repeatedly reprimanded by teachers for not paying attention in class and his lack of knowledge. Ihsaan becomes extremely withdrawn and limits his interaction with his schoolmates to only one boy. A friend who supports him from the very first day, and is a ray of hope in his bleak life.

Good fortune shines on Ihsaan when his art teacher is replaced. The new teacher, Nikumbh (Aamir Khan who is the director of the movie) realises that Ihsaan is having problems and delves deeper in an attempt to help him. It is he who discovers that the boy is suffering from dyslexia, a condition which he suffered from as a child as well. Nikumbh goes out of his way to help Ihsaan overcome his problems and gain confidence in himself. The movie ends on a very positive note, and shows the bond that was created between them because of Nikumbh’s efforts to help him succeed in his life.

There are so many things to be learnt from this movie. One of the most important things I feel, is that despite any form sickness if one has support, love and care you will be able to overcome it. Talking from experience, I have witnessed the power of love and care in one’s life. In times of difficulty, we should support each other. Be united as one unit…and never blame each other for things that happen in life. This support breeds happiness, something which we all seek in our lives.

The tag line of the movie is that every child is special. In this very fast paced life of ours, I have noticed that parents are putting an increasing amount of pressure on their children to exceed in every facet of their life. Kids in grade one and two are under stress, the kind that I only experienced once I reached high school. Why the need to push them to excel in school? Especially when they are not the intellectual type and perhaps are more creative, rather than logical (as it was and I often think still is in my case).

Our lives have been reduced to a competition, and everyone wants to come out as the winner. I have no qualms with winners; I too would love to be a winner. But in my short life of almost twenty one years I have realised that it’s not always about coming out above the rest. It’s about doing the very best that you can. Doing enough to satisfy yourself and not the world around you. Your best may not be enough to be a winner, but it is YOUR best after all. We aren’t all cut out for the same things in life. If we do what we enjoy, then we will excel in it. And more importantly is that we have to be good human beings. We need to live life to the fullest, enjoy it…let out the child in you! And for those who are still young, their youth should not be taken away from them. Let them live their lives as children, that’s what they are.

On that topic, it saddens me at the way our youth have become. I am well aware of the declining quality of the next generations, but this time I’m talking about kids between the ages of five and ten not even the ones in their teens. Although I am almost twenty one there are kids who in comparison to me care so much more about their appearances. They cannot leave their homes if their clothing, shoes and bags are not coordinated. I’m talking about kids over ten years younger than me! I remember going with my little boy cousin to McDonalds one night for ice-cream. He was about ten at the time. Not having the time to change, he remarked “How embarrassing, I have to go in with my slippers!”
Come on, a ten year old with slippers, there is nothing even close to embarrassing about that.

Little girls will not play in the sand for fear of getting themselves dirty and prefer to sit around and pretend to be women. Their quirky, but often rude remarks which come up during conversations (the ones going on between adults), are often just laughed at and brushed aside. At their age, if I had to make those same remarks my mother would have no second thoughts about slapping me for my misbehaviour. And although I’m so much older now, I won’t even try to butt in or be rude!

And then comes the have-to-have accessory. Kids from the age of eight are already given cellphones, that too the model of their choice. What’s the purpose of it? Do they really require cellphones at such a young age in their life? Perhaps their social circles are very extensive and without cellphones their social lives would dissipate. That’s the only way to keep in contact and get all the latest news. No cell phone, no reason to live. (Those last few sentences are dripping with sarcasm!).Where have the ‘kids’ in the twenty first century gone to?

In this race of life, we need to step back and breathe a little. Everything is too advanced, including the new generations. We need to approach life in a different manner. Stop trying to be on top of the pyramid. If we are a little lower down, it doesn’t mean that we don’t have a life or that it is worthless. Perhaps the ones lower down, living life more simply are the ones who are really successful. Successful because they have got what everyone forgot our purpose is-to try and discover happiness. How long will that high status last, or getting that ninety percent in an exam? The elation fades away…But if you have happiness you are fortunate, for it encompasses all the great things in life…such as faith, love, care, contentment, warmth and laughter.

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