Melancholic moods

I love rain, but when it goes on for too long and the sun fails to make its appearance, then it can be downright depressing. Or maybe its just that too much is going on right now. It seems that stress is contagious, and I have definitely caught the bug. I’ve been thinking a lot about granddad. Two days ago I had to deal with some admin work, which involved faxing his death certificate. Holding that document was more concrete evidence of his death, which left me feeling hollow and melancholic. The only cure, people say is time. Tomorrow is going to be one month since his death. It feels like a lifetime, and yet it feels like just yesterday. Is he really gone? I keep asking myself that question. Images of him are constantly flashing through my head. Fortunately though, its of the good times. I haven’t cried much, except for the weekend after his mayyit and about two times in the last month. I want to cry, but I feel so numb and hard inside. Maybe it’s a good thing. I keep wondering if its going to suddenly hit me, and how will I be able to deal with it. I’ve been so preoccupied since his death, that I haven’t had much time to sit and actually reflect on the harsh reality. Life has changed in so many ways…I hope that we will be able to recover our happiness, although he has left us. I guess it would be a good idea to take each day as it comes and not envisage a gloomy future, but rather look forward to good things. As the saying goes “Change is the only constant”. We have to embrace change and make the most of what we have, and in this case ‘who’ we have in our lives.